Let Me Reintroduce Myself

There have been a lot of changes here in the last few years, and I thought it might be time to reintroduce myself.

Hi! I'm Sarah...

I can vividly remember creating my 35 at 35 list just prior to my 30th birthday... it was a list of 35 things that I wanted to achieve before I turned, you guessed it, 35! And now I find myself sitting at my laptop aged 40!! Where did the time go?

So who am I? 

If you had asked me this question 10 years ago, even 5 years ago... I think you'd have gotten a very different answer to the one I'm going to give you now. A combination of different things - getting older (& hopefully wiser!), the Covid-19 pandemic, navigating some difficult situations with the children and investing in my personal development - have really opened my eyes to what's important in life. Perhaps you can relate?

I'm a single mum of two pre-teens... gosh, what a tricky age they are both at! My son is nearly 13 years old and my daughter has recently turned 11. The hormones are really kicking in! When I was newly single (just before my 30th birthday!), they were 9 months old and just over 2 years old... and I thought it was difficult then. I had believed it would get easier as they got older... spoiler alert, it hasn't. It's a different type of difficult. When they were little it was physically demanding, whereas now it's emotionally demanding. Perhaps it's compounded by the fact that I'm a single mum.

A year ago I gave up my employment, and ventured into a new territory... I had been a Senior Director of Global Program Management at a large pharmaceutical company with teams of project managers across America and Europe, but it just wasn't feeling right anymore. 

You can read more about how I left my corporate career here.

I had been investing in my personal development, the kids were in a difficult spot and I had this realisation that I was prioritising the wrong things. It felt good to step back. I still work in pharma, as a part-time consultant... this means that I can choose the hours I work, and I'm no longer on work calls in the evenings (which came as a result of working with the US and the time difference). With this change in work circumstances, and some other strategies, I've managed to carve out time and space to build my creative businesses.

I'm a certified transformational life coach (although I acknowledge that this is a phrase that's banded about a lot now and perhaps it's not always so clear what it actually is! I've a post on life coaching on my website which might be of interest - you'll find it here). I've decided to call myself a 'productivity coach and small business mentor'. Essentially, I work with small business owners, and help empower them to make sustainable changes in their businesses using project management strategies (drawing on all my corporate experience), plus a mix of mindset work and practical activities so that they get more time. Organisation, systems and processes are my jam!

In addition to the coaching, I'm also an abstract artist and I sell my art via my website. Everyone is creative in their own way, and what I love most is sharing my story... whether that is through my art, my blogs or my weekly newsletters (you can sign up here if you'd like to receive these).

I wholeheartedly believe that it's possible to build a business whilst still being present with your family.

I also believe that it's possible to do this whilst not burning the candle at both ends, or worse yet - burning out.

I am an advocate of living mindfully or more minimally; if you can simplify & streamline your home life then this is one way of creating additional time... giving you freedom to choose what you do with the time you've created.

Freedom and adventure are important to me. One way that I use the additional time I've created is to travel in my campervan, Verity (@veritythevw). My future vision involves more travelling and exploring Scotland. I'm building a business that will allow me to do just that.

Generosity or giving is another value, and I now volunteer every week at the local hospice. I run mindfulness and meditation sessions each week for the out patients at our Living Well Hub. Find out more about my volunteering here on my website.

Lastly I'm passionate about nature and the environment. I get a lot of inspiration from nature for my art, and I love to take walks in nearby parks and forests with my dog, Evie.

Getting clear on my personal values has been an impactful personal development exercise. Being in alignment with my values, in both my personal life and my business, means that my life and work feels good.

Hopefully this gives you a flavour of who I am...

I'd love to hear more about you. Let me know in the comments what is important to you (and if you want some help figuring our your values - this article that I have written might be helpful).

Sarah x

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Here are some ways that I can help you - 

 

🤍 Free training

Slide into my DMs on Instagram with the words ‘Get More Time’ and I'll send you the links to a couple of video training sessions I've recorded on how I use my Google calendar to time block, plus my morning routine and evening routines to book end my days.

 

🤍 Take my 5-day course, ‘Project Manage Your Life’

My popular challenge is now available as a self paced course. Click the link above for more information. In just 5 days, and for £55, I'll have you feeling more organised. 

 

🤍 Work with me 1-to-1

I currently have space for 1-to-1 life coaching clients. Are you a small business owner feeling burnt out, overwhelmed and stressed? I can help you find more time in your day, get organised using project management strategies and personal development techniques, and have you feeling calm and back in control. Find a spot in my calendar here to book in for an introductory call (this isn't a pushy sales call, but rather a genuine desire from me to help you).

Planning for the School Summer Holidays

For those of you in Scotland, the school summer holidays are now upon us!

As a single parent, and a business owner, getting organised for the summer holidays is no mean feat.

I put a poll up on my Instagram, and there were a lot of parents in my audience who are yet to get their holiday plans sorted, and were keen to understand how I do my planning.

So here goes…

• As a single parent, in the first instance I need to understand what my childcare rota is for the holidays. I had put forward a proposal to my ex a while ago, but it was only agreed now… so it’s delayed my planning somewhat. It’s also meant that some of the clubs locally for over the holiday are already fully booked out, and we also have the added difficulty that the summer club we have previously used isn’t running this year. Out of my control unfortunately, and so I just have to manage around these things.

• I’m a really visual person, and I like to ‘see’ the time that we’re playing with. Have you come across the visuals for a human life in months, or even weeks before? I’ve included a monthly version below for a 90 year old. It’s powerful being able to consider time in this way. Full blog post from Wait But Why here. Anyway, what I’ve done is I’ve created a planner for the summer holidays that breaks the weeks down into days, so that I can have a 1-page snapshot of what we’re doing each day.

If you want to get your hands on my summer holiday planner, as well as my other planning templates such as meal planner, daily habit tracker and my to-do list then you can head to this page on my website.

• My kids are older now, 11 and nearly 13 - so we had a family meeting to chat about what we’d like to do over the summer. Gone are the days when I could pick & choose by myself!

• I’m going to be taking the kids away on a few trips this summer, and so this is one of the first things that I blocked out in my planner. (I’ve got some campsites booked up now, and the arrangements are in place - can’t wait!).

• I am also going to have to do some work over the summer - I’m not yet in a place with my business where I can step away altogether for the full 7 weeks. So using my planner I’ll determine which of the days, or parts of the days, I’m going to work, and figure out what the plans are going to be for childcare on those dates… this might be summer clubs/activities, or play dates with friends etc. 

• Get creative! Can you offer to take a friend or neighbours kid for a half-day whilst they work, and then see if they’ll offer the same in return?

• Have a think about what activities you can plan and schedule in advance for your business that will take the pressure off over the summer months…. perhaps you can schedule your email marketing and social media now? Have a look at this blog post on being more efficient with your social media.

• Are there tasks that you can blast out in the mornings during the summer holidays before the kids get up, or once they are in bed - maybe get yourself an accountability buddy and get a few Zoom power hours scheduled each week?

• It’s also a great time to mull over what tasks you can delegate to free up your time. I’ve a blog post here on prioritisation that should be helpful.

• Lastly - have a think about how you want to feel over the school summer holidays, and make sure that the activities you’ve got scheduled will help you feel that way. I’m craving adventure, and so I’m excited to get away in our campervan, Verity, as much as possible.

Would love to hear your thoughts - how do you plan for the school summer holidays, and what exciting things will you be doing over the summer months?

Planning & Looking to the Future

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I'm a planner.

I love to organise my time, know where I'm going to be and when... 

I don't like the uncertainty of not knowing what's around the corner.

In my head I have a clearer career plan. My new job has helped with that and I feel focussed in this area of my life.

I also have a fitness plan, and I'm feeling motivated to reach my goal. Next on my list is to manage at least one full, proper press-up. So far I can only do press-ups on my knees. I also need to lose a few more pounds.

What I don't like is the uncertainty of my personal life... relationships, money, health... I'm not feeling very settled for some reason and it's making me stressed and emotional.

Things with my divorce are starting to progress again in the right direction, and at a better speed than before. So hopefully I'll have some resolution in this area soon. I do think this will help dramatically with things. Plus it will be good when those lawyer bills finally stop!! Which leads onto money, or lack thereof. I've been saving where possible to allow my luxuries to continue. However I'm really feeling it this year and I've borrowed money from my dad and my sister. It should all even out eventually as my student loan repayments are going to stop this quarter - that will help hugely! All this stress is making my Crohn's symptoms worse and I'm feeling pretty exhausted most of the time. However I'm great at 'putting on a good show' as my doctor put it, and I carry on regardless.

I have an Easter holiday organised which I'm really looking forward to. My sister and her boyfriend have booked a luxury lodge in Scotland (I will pay you back eventually...promise!) and we've been planning what to do with our week off. There will be the four grown-ups plus our four kids. I'm hoping for dry weather so we can BBQ, play in the park and have some quality time together.

So for now, I'm going to breathe... (try to) trust... let go... and see what happens!

{It's the weekend!}

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It's the weekend...

...and this weekend I have the children right through until Monday!! This is part of our new routine (more on the mediation process in another post I think) and I'm really looking forward to quality time with them before my son starts school.

I can't believe that he will be going to school this month! He's getting so grown up!

Anyway, have a great weekend everyone!!! 

Sarah x

{#ShareAdvent - Childhood memories}

I've shared quite a lot of my own childhood memories here on the Glasgow Mummy pages... from my favourite childhood books (that I still have to this day!) to my favourite childhood toy (again, that I still have to this day!!). I've even shared pictures from my Christmas in Doha when I was 10 years old... with a funny looking Christmas 'tree'! 

So for today's #ShareAdvent prompt, Childhood memories, I thought I'd share a recent discussion I had with my ex regarding my children and their childhood memories.

Apparently the situation with Gavin, my ex boyfriend, has scarred the children (not sure that was the actual words he used, but it was something along those lines) and that they still talk about him (they've mentioned his name once in front of me since June). Gavin came on a short holiday with the kids and myself (although there were other people there, like my cousin and my sister for parts of the trip) and the ex is of the opinion that I've ruined their memories of their first holiday. I did explain that Gavin was introduced as a friend and we weren't in physical contact with each other in front of the kids. Have I really ruined their memories? I'm not sure I agree. I can't even remember any holidays I went on when I was 6 or 7, let alone what I was doing between the ages of 2-4 years old.

I gave it considerable thought before Gavin met the kids, and it didn't work out. It was my decision to end things. I'm now in a position where I'd like my new boyfriend, R (who I have been seeing for 5 months) to meet them, but the ex thinks I'm being selfish and it's not in their best interests.

I know the situation is far from ideal and I didn't see myself being a separated single mummy. But I want to move on. Obviously I don't want to do anything to jeopardise the children's wellbeing or safety etc but is it selfish that I want R to meet them? They're a massive part of me and my life.

Would appreciate any relevant comments or suggestions on this, from either point of view.

{All By Myself}

As you've probably guessed from the title of this post, things with Gavin haven't worked out as well as I had hoped.

Just a month ago I wrote about moving on, but something just didn't feel quite right. It was very much my decision and I know deep down that it was the right thing to do. I have so much on my plate right now and I need to focus on the children, getting my house sold, getting settled into a new place, and getting the divorce moving forward.

Gavin did meet the kids a few times. Was I wrong in introducing Gavin to them? I'm really not sure. At the time I had thought things through very carefully and to me it seemed like the logical next step. Their contact was minimal and as such the children haven't noticed that they've not seen Gavin recently and his name hasn't been mentioned by them either. They enjoyed his company, but they've not noticed he's missing so I know they weren't attached to him. I'm relieved by this. I'd have felt awful if either of them were asking where he was. 

I've also been so busy myself putting my house back on the market that I've not really had a chance to dwell on things too much. All I can say is that I'm learning to trust my gut instinct and for some reason I knew that the relationship wasn't right for me. 

I can't help but think of the Bridget Jones's Diary scene where she sings 'All By Myself'. I'm currently sat in my pyjamas with a hot water bottle strapped to my tummy as I've got major Crohn's bloat going on and I'm feeling a bit sore and sorry for myself (this post is scheduled to go live in the morning and hopefully by then my mood will have improved!).

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{Playgroup}

I had a bit of a disagreement with one of the mums at the playgroup I go to last week. It's not like me to not get on with someone, but she was a bit mean to me and I'm not sure that I did anything to deserve it. Anyway, here's the story and you can tell me what you would have done:

My son, daughter & I arrived at playgroup at 10.05am. It starts at 10am, and normally we're the first there, but it had been a bit of a stressful morning following a stressful evening the night before (discussing Christmas plans very briefly with the kids dad, which got me a bit upset) and as a result we were running late.

My son had been talking all morning about the red motorbike he wanted to play with, but when we arrived there was another boy on said bike. My son got upset straight away, but I told him to go and ask the other boy nicely if he could have a shot and for him to wait his turn.

The boy refused to let me son have a shot.

So we waited, and asked again.

Still the boy refused to share. My son was getting more and more upset.

Throughout this I stayed with my son, who was following the other boy around. I had thought that if I left him, that he would potentially push the boy off. So I kept saying to my son that he was doing the right thing, asking the boy nicely for a shot and waiting his turn. He said he was going to push the boy and I said no, that's not what you do, you have to wait.

We asked 6 or 7 times....

At one stage, his mum asked him to give the bike to my son. He refused, and his mum said, sorry he doesn't want to give it up.

So we waited... and waited.

By this point is was now 10.30am and my son had cried for 25 minutes and waited for his turn on the bike.

I had said to my son that the boy was being bad because he wasn't sharing and he also wasn't listening to his mummy, who had asked him to give my son the bike.

Anyway, I had enough and walked away.

Sharing

2 minutes later, my son had the bike. I didn't see quite what happened, but I asked him if he said 'thank you' to the boy.

At which point the mum stepped up and said 'No, he didn't say thank you because he pushed my son off the bike'. She then informed me that my behaviour was inappropriate, that I shouldn't have told my son that her son was a bad boy and that we shouldn't have been following her son. (My son was going to follow him regardless, but at least by my being there I made sure my son continued to ask nicely and didn't push or hit the other child).

I turned round and told her that I thought her behaviour was inappropriate and that she should have enforced the need to share and take turns. She acknowledged that my son had been upset, but that if she had taken the bike from her son that he would have also been upset.

Anyway, my son got the bike (although he shouldn't have pushed the other boy off) and after 7 minutes I made my son give the bike back to the boy (which he wasn't happy about), but I thought it was the right thing to do and meant that we were seen to be sharing and taking turns.

In my mind, it's fine to have a toy for the full hour or so of playgroup, as long as there isn't another child that wants to have a turn. But when you have someone else that wants a shot, surely you need to enforce the sharing and teach by example? If it had been me and my son had been asked by another child to give them a shot of the toy he had, I would ensure that they took turns and if my son refused to be nice and share, then I'd have taken him home. Yes, he would have been really upset, but he would learn his lesson...right?

Her words really got to me, and I ended up crying a little bit because of it (mainly due to the discussions I had had the previous night, but she hadn't helped matters).

Am I being too sensitive, was I wrong in my actions? What would you have done?

{Broken, Part II}

In August I confronted him, but he denied it.

I knew he was lying... but I didn't have any evidence. 

On 23rd of December, 2011 - I knew for sure.

On 28th of December, 2011 - I told him I knew.

On 29th of December, 2011 - I asked him to leave.

I'm starting 2012 as a single parent and there is a lot of change ahead. I'm excited, nervous, worried, scared... but I know I am stronger now and I can do this.