Children Vs Career

I've now been in my new job for about 6 weeks and I'm thoroughly enjoying the new challenge.

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Life is super busy and I can only see it getting even more manic as the demands from the job increase. They're easing me in gently as I get up to speed with things, but thankfully I seem to be grasping all the new systems quickly.

At the start of the week, whilst the kids are with their dad, I work longer days. I then have Wednesday off which is spent catching up on some housework whilst the littlest is at nursery and then in the afternoons we spend some quality time together before collecting the eldest from school. I then have the children on Thursdays and Fridays. These days are full on. I have arranged my hours at work so that I can still do the nursery and school drop-off, and then I also do the pick-up too at school. I'm rushing around, speeding across town to work and back again. At the house I have to keep on top of everything so that I'm organised and ready for the next day. It's ever so slightly stressful. I never used to enjoy the weekends... I used to work Mon, Tues and Wed at my old job and the weekends didn't really mean much to me. Now I love the weekends. No school run, no work to go to...

Despite how busy it all is, a part of me wants to increase my hours at work. I am really enjoying being Sarah the project manager rather than so-and-so's mummy. I'm loving putting all my organisational skills to good use and the role is perfect for me. I think it's important for my own sanity that I work. I also could be done with the extra cash that working more hours would bring.

When I was at university I was really driven. I put so much effort into getting summer placements that were relevant for my future career... I sent out hundreds of letters trying to secure a pre-registration year and all my hard work eventually paid off. After having the kids I lost my confidence and I lost my mojo. But it's back and I'm feeling motivated. I'm lucky to have a great new job... and then the guilt kicks in - perhaps I shouldn't be loving my work so much, perhaps I should be wanting to stay at home with the kids more.

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That said, the other part of me is glad that I can be there for the children on the days they are with me rather than them being in breakfast clubs or after school clubs. My mum didn't work when I was at primary school and she went back to work part-time when I was older. She was always there for me and that's something I'll always remember. I want to be able to do the same for my kiddies. I love that we bake together, craft together, that I can take them to activities, spend time with friends and as the weather gets better I'm looking forward to after school trips to the park... I had thought that I would give up work and be a stay-at-home-mum but with the separation that's not possible. Today is World Book Day and unlike my mum who would have sewn me an outfit, I literally had zero time and so the kids are off to nursery and school in shop bought outfits. Here's the guilt creeping in again. 

The thing I struggle with the most is that I didn't have children to only have them half of the time. This is tough for me and my weeks are an emotional rollercoaster as a result. On the flip side, thankfully the kids dad is supportive in that he does have a relationship with the kids, he does 50% of the childcare and also contributes financially which allows me to work part-time. I'm lucky in that respect.

I think whilst the littlest is at nursery it's going to be a juggling act. In August 2016 she'll start school and things will settle down and become much easier. Only one-drop off as opposed to two; not such an early start (nursery goes in 20 minutes before school); I won't need a childminder anymore and if I wanted to I could work on a Wednesday as well which would take my hours closer to full-time and I wouldn't have to feel guilty this time as they'd both be at school so it's not like I'd be giving up spending quality time with them.

But then I feel guilty again for wishing away their childhood...

For now I'm going to enjoy the fact that I have a pretty good balance, and hopefully it will all sort itself out! Live for the moment, or so I keep telling myself!!

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A Fresh Start

When I became a mummy, my career took a back seat and my priorities changed somewhat. When I returned to work after a year's maternity leave, I reduced my hours to part-time. My employer has been flexible to accommodate nursery and now school drop-offs and pick-ups. However, things have been super stressful outside of work in the last 4 years (dealing with the breakdown of my marriage, divorce proceedings, house move, Crohn's flare up...) and my motivation to advance in my career has been low and most certainly not my priority.

Life is now a bit more settled. Progress is being made with the divorce (slowly, but we're moving in the right direction) and I've now been in my new house for a year. My career has come to the forefront again. I started to question what I want to do with my life. Where did I see myself in 5 years time? And being brutally honest with myself, I didn't see myself staying where I was. I had become comfortable in my role and have been bored for a while. My boss even said (not just to me, but to the team) that you should stay with an employer for 4 years, learn as much as you can, and then change jobs. At this point I had been with the firm for 5 years. Cue alarm bells...

I had considered moving fields; desperate for a change and a new challenge. But I studied for 8 years, gaining a first class degree and a PhD, and I don't feel like I can throw that away. Not just yet anyway. So I started the search for a new employer, in the same field: science. Time for a fresh start.

It's been daunting. I've been with my current employer for 7 years, and it was my first proper job after my PhD. I have had to attend formal interviews and give presentations (eek!). I had to sell myself, which I don't think I'm terribly good at...

Anyway, the amazing news is that I've signed a contract for a job and I will start work with my new employer in January. It's part-time and they're being equally flexible about my hours which is perfect.

I'm really excited and I think I've found my work mojo again!

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{#JanuaryJoy - refocus on your career}

Today's prompt from Rebecca over at Florence Finds for her #JanuaryJoy series, is to 'refocus on your career'.

Regular readers will know that I have a PhD and I'm a part-time scientist... and my blog is my creative outlet that I write in my spare time.

I've dipped my toes into other careers over the years... retail, hospitality, photography... but science was always my strong subject and it seemed sensible to pursue a job in this field.

I don't know many people who have swapped their career, but one person that sprung to mind was Steve over at Cherry Tree Films.

Steve was the videographer for my wedding, and the wedding films he creates are just amazing (I'd definitely recommend them, and a few of my friends have since used Steve for their weddings). Anyway, Steve has a degree in Biology and worked for 8 years in the pharmaceutical industry before turning his hobby into a business.

I'm not saying I want to completely change my career... I spent 8 years training to do what I do (5 years at uni for my first degree, and then another 3 for my PhD) and so far I've only been working in the 'real world' for 6 years.

My current employer is brilliant and I've been so lucky in that respect. My hours are flexible and at the moment I'm working part-time.

What concerns me are the next 2 years whilst I juggle nursery & school runs with the kids dad. I'm hoping it will become easier once they're both at school, which will be August 2016.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a lottery win (what are the chances??) and then I can pursue one of my dream jobs, like opening a cupcake cafe/gift shop or working on the CBeebies show 'Nina & The Neurons'!

Nina & The Neurons