Wednesday, 11 March 2015

Planning & Looking to the Future


I'm a planner.

I love to organise my time, know where I'm going to be and when... 

I don't like the uncertainty of not knowing what's around the corner.

In my head I have a clearer career plan. My new job has helped with that and I feel focussed in this area of my life.

I also have a fitness plan, and I'm feeling motivated to reach my goal. Next on my list is to manage at least one full, proper press-up. So far I can only do press-ups on my knees. I also need to lose a few more pounds.

What I don't like is the uncertainty of my personal life... relationships, money, health... I'm not feeling very settled for some reason and it's making me stressed and emotional.

Things with my divorce are starting to progress again in the right direction, and at a better speed than before. So hopefully I'll have some resolution in this area soon. I do think this will help dramatically with things. Plus it will be good when those lawyer bills finally stop!! Which leads onto money, or lack thereof. I've been saving where possible to allow my luxuries to continue. However I'm really feeling it this year and I've borrowed money from my dad and my sister. It should all even out eventually as my student loan repayments are going to stop this quarter - that will help hugely! All this stress is making my Crohn's symptoms worse and I'm feeling pretty exhausted most of the time. However I'm great at 'putting on a good show' as my doctor put it, and I carry on regardless.

I have an Easter holiday organised which I'm really looking forward to. My sister and her boyfriend have booked a luxury lodge in Scotland (I will pay you back eventually...promise!) and we've been planning what to do with our week off. There will be the four grown-ups plus our four kids. I'm hoping for dry weather so we can BBQ, play in the park and have some quality time together.

So for now, I'm going to breathe... (try to) trust... let go... and see what happens!


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