TV in the bedroom, yay or nay?
I grew up with no television in my bedroom (I vaguely remember about age 15 I had a black & white tune-in TV but it was rubbish and I didn't have it long). I was in my early 20s when I first had a TV in my bedroom but I was living on my own with my husband's parents (boyfriend at the time, and he was living elsewhere in Scotland!) and so it made sense to have a separate TV that I could watch.
When I then moved in with my husband (by which point he was my fiance) we continued to have a TV in the bedroom, but now looking back I think it was a bad decision and it had a definite negative impact on us. We watched far too much television and chose to sit in silence rather than communicating with each other.
At the moment I have a TV in my bedroom, mainly to keep the kids occupied whilst I get ready in the morning. When I move to my new house, there are going to be new rules and no televisions in bedrooms is one of them.
Laptop computers & tablet devices
I've never owned a laptop computer or a tablet device and I'm not sure that I ever will. I guess I'm quite old school in that respect.
My husband spent a lot of time on his laptop computer, and again, it meant that we weren't communicating with each other.
If I want to do something on the computer, I sit at my desk. If the kids want to play a computer game, we sit all together at the desk to play.
For a while I was letting my eldest play with my iPhone on the odd occasion, but I could see that he was becoming obsessed with it and as such he now doesn't get it at all.
Anyway, all this chat got me thinking about all the other things that I should have done differently in my marriage.
Don't go to bed alone
More often than not, my husband and I went to bed at different times. I struggled to stay up late and he was always up until the small hours working. Or if he did come to bed, I'd fall asleep and he'd stay up watching TV in our room.
I think we probably should have compromised and met somewhere in the middle.
Speaking of meeting in the middle, we had a gigantic super king bed. Yes, we're both tall - but I'm not sure we needed so much space. I could stretch my arms out in bed and I wouldn't be able to reach my husband. Surely that's not right? I'm never buying a super king bed again.
Never go to sleep on an argument - really?
I've never been one for arguments, but for some reason my husband would want to have important discussions at some crazy hour before he went to sleep. I was always too tired and really struggled to focus and get my point across. I definitely think that it's better to wait until the morning and yes, go to sleep on an argument.
The grass is greener where you water it
Everyone should know that relationships are hard work. The more you put in, the more you get out.
One of my pet hates was my husband swearing at me. It was the only thing I asked him not to do and it was the one thing he kept on doing. I don't think you should be calling your other half names, throwing things at them or swearing. Treat someone how you'd like to be treated in return.
There's also something to be said about small gestures. It's so nice to get a simple compliment, or a nice cup of tea made for you...and it doesn't cost a thing! Not saying there's anything wrong with flowers etc but you don't need to even go that far to make someone know they're special.
It's good to talk
Communication was one of our major downfalls. I think if there's something you want, then you should ask for it. There's no point letting things fester and build up into bigger deals than they originally were. It'll just make you angrier/upset. My downfall is that I'm fairly crap at talking about my feelings and prefer to communicate in writing.
I think it's important to have fun things that you do as a couple. It became a habit that we would stay in, every night, even if we didn't have the children. I think I'd forgotten how to have a laugh.
Equally, I think it's key to have your own hobbies and interests outside of your relationship. I've always been one for trying new classes or activities, but when the kids came along I stopped doing all these things and I do regret that.
What do you think? Does technology have a negative impact on relationships?