Just a month ago I wrote about moving on, but something just didn't feel quite right. It was very much my decision and I know deep down that it was the right thing to do. I have so much on my plate right now and I need to focus on the children, getting my house sold, getting settled into a new place, and getting the divorce moving forward.
Gavin did meet the kids a few times. Was I wrong in introducing Gavin to them? I'm really not sure. At the time I had thought things through very carefully and to me it seemed like the logical next step. Their contact was minimal and as such the children haven't noticed that they've not seen Gavin recently and his name hasn't been mentioned by them either. They enjoyed his company, but they've not noticed he's missing so I know they weren't attached to him. I'm relieved by this. I'd have felt awful if either of them were asking where he was.
I've also been so busy myself putting my house back on the market that I've not really had a chance to dwell on things too much. All I can say is that I'm learning to trust my gut instinct and for some reason I knew that the relationship wasn't right for me.
I can't help but think of the Bridget Jones's Diary scene where she sings 'All By Myself'. I'm currently sat in my pyjamas with a hot water bottle strapped to my tummy as I've got major Crohn's bloat going on and I'm feeling a bit sore and sorry for myself (this post is scheduled to go live in the morning and hopefully by then my mood will have improved!).