Friday, 18 January 2013

{January Joy - 18th Jan}


The prompt for today's #JanuaryJoy post, 'Do some Family planning' definitely got me reflecting on the previous few years... 

I had a peek at Wikipedia to see what the definition of family planning is, and it's as I thought:

'the planning of when to have children and the use of birth control and other techniques to implement such plans'

I got married when I was 25 years old, and I always knew that I wanted to be a mum so it seemed natural to start trying for a baby quite soon. My husband is 4 years older than me and most of our friends were older, so we weren't the first to have children. After 11 months of trying and the disappointment after each negative pregnancy test, I remember being shocked when the result was finally positive - I couldn't quite believe it. At the time my husband wasn't with me, as I was convinced it was going to be another negative result so I took the test on my own. I couldn't contain myself and ended up calling him on his mobile to tell him the exciting news. However, he was on a train with a work associate and wasn't able to share in my delight... whoops! 

Anyway, we waited 12 weeks and had a private scan before we told any of our friends or family, the only other person that knew was a work colleague who I had to inform for health & safety reasons. I have Crohn's Disease for which I take immunosuppresant drugs every day and I was a little concerned that this might impact negatively upon the pregnancy. My early pregnancy was a breeze surprisingly enough (no sickness or anything!), but it was the latter stages that things became difficult and I developed a serious liver condition called obstetric cholestasis.

I had my son when I was 27 and it wasn't the easiest of journey's into motherhood - I went into spontaneous early labour at 33 weeks and I wasn't ready at all.  

My son, when we finally got him home from hospital aged 5 weeks!

There is just 22 months between my sister and I, and from the outset I had my heart set on having two children close together in age. My husband was on the same page, and after a traumatic year with our son we decided selfishly that if were going to have another we would do it quickly to 'get the difficult baby bit over with as soon as possible'. I ended up falling pregnant shortly after my son's first birthday, a few weeks after we decided to start trying! There was concern from my obstetrician that I would develop the liver condition again and go into labour even earlier, and I spent each week worrying that I might develop the dreaded itch. I made it to 35 weeks symptom-free and was induced at 37 weeks giving birth to a beautiful little girl when I was 29.

During all this my marriage had hit a rough patch and things were far from great. And now, here I am, aged 31 as a single mummy with two toddlers. 

I'm now not sure that there is a right time to start family planning. I believed I was being sensible and had it all thought through in my head... and look where I've ended up.

Now I'm trying to live for the moment... not worrying about the future or contemplating the past too much. What's done is done... 

4 comments:

  1. Hi, thank you for sharing such a personal post :)

    I can so relate, although I just have one little one who is 21 months. I was with my ex for 8years then we got married and we (both!) started trying for a baby straight away. We were lucky and I got pregnant within a few months, at which point he started to distance himself from family life. He left us when our son was 8 months old. Seems once we finally had everything we both thought we wanted, he didn't want it anymore.

    Like you, I thought I'd planned it all out and didn't expect to be in this situation!

    I don't have any advice, I'm still very raw. But like you I'm trying not to dwell. I'm finding that rather than making me cautious about things, it's taught me that I can't control everything in my life. So I'm trying to take more risks and not plan so much. It's also shown me who I can trust (myself, close family and certain friends).

    Lovely blog :) x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so sorry to hear that you've been through similar circumstance. I hope things are starting to get a bit easier for you? I have good days and bad, but I'm certainly much happier now than what I was 2 years ago x

      Delete
  2. Hi Sarah, first off it was absolutely amazing to meet you at BritMums live and I can't believe I haven't followed you yet as we have so many things in common. You are such a sweetheart in real life and after reading a few blog posts I can tell you are that way across your blog too. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me. Feel blessed this linky hasn't failed yet like my first too. lol Our kids are the same age so I can relate to having two toddlers. I am sorry to hear that things didn't go as planned and that you had tough times with the liver/pregnancy- I don't know much about it so forgive my ignorance but does that mean you have it forever or only when you are pregnant? I think we all should definitely live in the moment as much as possible but like you said you never know what's going to happen. My mother was a single mom from when I was 3 and I watched her struggle but stay strong and I look up to her so much for that and I know your kids will too! You are so strong and sound like you are doing amazing job as a mother of two so young. I look up to you for that. What a great post I am sure it's not easy writing about it but always great to get to know more about you. Thanks for linking up and I hope to see you again at LTM. #sharewithme (big hugs)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry it's taken so long to reply!! I'm rubbish with commenting, and keep meaning to try harder. The liver thing was just during my pregnancy and as soon as the babies were born it went away thankfully. Was so lovely to meet you too :-)

      Delete

Blog design by aleelily designs | Powered by Blogger.